Crossing the Bridge (Communication as Connection)
“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”
— Brené Brown
I once sat in a meeting where two colleagues were saying the exact same thing—yet it sounded like they were worlds apart. One spoke with calm reassurance, pausing to make sure everyone was with her. The other was quick, direct, and to the point. Instead of hearing alignment, the room felt tense—like they were on opposite sides.
It wasn’t the message that caused friction—it was the style. And that’s the thing about communication: it’s never just about what we say, but how we say it, and how that lands on the people we’re speaking to.
Each of us has a relational style—our unique way of showing up in interactions. Some are naturally warm and expressive. Others prefer logic and brevity. Some thrive on collaboration, while others value independence.
These styles shape:
Tone – Do we sound approachable or firm?
Pace – Do we move slow and steady, or fast and focused?
Focus – Do we prioritize feelings, facts, or outcomes?
None of these are “good” or “bad.” They’re simply different. But when styles clash—or when we assume everyone communicates like we do—misunderstandings happen. Recognizing relational styles is like learning a new language: it helps us translate intention into understanding.
Quick Ways to Start navigate different relational styles in daily communication
1. Notice, don’t judge. If someone’s style feels “off” to you, pause and ask, Is it different, or truly unhelpful?
2. Mirror (lightly). Matching pace or tone (without faking it) can build trust and ease tension.
3. Ask instead of assume. Simple clarifying questions like, “Can you tell me more about what you mean?” prevent misinterpretation.
4. Flex, don’t force. Good communication isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about adapting just enough to meet others where they are.
When we start to see relational styles not as barriers but as bridges, communication stops being a struggle and starts becoming an invitation. We realize that every interaction is an opportunity to step into another person’s world and let them step into ours.
Because at the end of the day, communication isn’t just about getting the words “right.” It’s about creating connection—and connection grows when we learn to listen, adjust, and honor the different ways people show up.
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